My friend, Royale, posted about the value of learning from our mistakes by simply observing. The title of her post -- Famous Last Words...I Really Didn't Think About It -- made me reflect on all the stupid stuff I've done in my life.
I'm not a big one on living a life of regrets. I tend to believe we do things we're not always proud of but hopefully, we learn from them and move through life a little wiser. I also believe that we're here to connect but not all connections are necessarily going to last a lifetime and not everyone is healthy to have in your life (for your state of mind.) Sometimes, you have to be cruel to save your sanity.
But while I don't regret things, I do have a recorder in my brain that seems to replay things I've said out of anger -- no matter how many times I try to erase the memory. They range from the purely inappropriate said in complete jest (to my mother-in-law!) to a mean denial (to my dad about the naming of my son.)
I have uttered words that were cruel to lash out at someone when I've felt misunderstood or frankly, fed up. And it's true what they say, once things come out of your mouth -- the ship has sailed. It's hard to bring it back in to port.
I doubt that other people still play those words in their recorders -- my guess is that they've been long forgotten. But I can't help think that I should have been kinder, wiser, smarter -- I should think before I speak.
And you know, there are a few things I've said that have enriched my life -- and no, I can't take them back either. Entirely inappropriate perhaps? Admitting a crush, being a goofy admirer, saying I love you when I wasn't quite sure if the feelings were appropriate much less returned -- those things I don't regret, although I admit to being a little embarrassed by my declarations.
Does your recorder instantly replay things you've said 20 years ago, too?